Hyena?!?!?

So, you're likely familiar with my boss, Mumbles, by now. I've already put up one post listing some of his mispronunciations of words that...well, aren't that difficult to pronounce. So, since that point, I've tried to be extra attentive to what he says because his syntax is so bad it's all too easy to make an incorrect assumption.

For example, he might be saying, "I've tried to explain it to that guy before", but it sounds as if he's saying, "Fly tide is painful if you're a gay whore."

So I've learned to listen extra hard when he's speaking since his poor syntax makes it hard to determine if he's really mispronouncing a word or if you just can't understand what the bloody hell he's saying.

Well...this afternoon he schleps into my office, sits down at the unoccupied desk next to me, crosses his legs, folds his Popeye arms behind his head and begins to tell me about his wife's health scare the week before.

The doctors can't seem to figure out what's wrong with her. Her symptoms are severe chest pains, shortness of breath and heartburn. Sounds like a heart attack, right? Wrong. The doctors have ruled that out.

Then Mumbles uttered the one sentence that motivated me to write this blog today. He said, "I think it might be a hyena."

What?!?!? The?!?!?!? Frick?!?!?!?

And, before I could say, "What the frick", my brain translated the word from Mumblesese to English: Hyena = Hernia. Hernia!

Then came the almost uncontrollable urge to guffaw in his face. Luckily, I had to pee, so I jumped up out of my chair and ran to the bathroom laughing.

I can't believe it. Mumbles' wife has a hyena...