Football...Why Do I Keep Doing This to Myself?

I think it might be time for me to "give up" football. I've gotten to the point where I'm so emotionally invested in my teams that, when they decide to play crappy football, I tend to get way too angry.

I say things I shouldn't say. In fact, I say things no man should say in front of his wife. I know I shouldn't get so pissed off about a dumb game that's not putting any money into my bank account, regardless of which team wins or loses. I tell myself to try and stay calm...

...but it just doesn't work. Before I know it, I've reached the end of my patience and I'm cursing my team, the opposing team, the referees and the commentators, my breathing increases to the point where I almost feel out of breath, and I can barely stave off the urge to throw the remote control at the television.

Football is supposed to be fun to watch, but feeling that way is no fun. It's simply not worth it and, ultimately, it's a waste of my time. Time I could be spending doing something else with my wife...

So, at least for now, my teams (and they know who they are) can kiss my ass. I'm done rooting for you, and I'm too loyal to start rooting for anyone else. So, my only option is to tell you all to kiss my ass...